Comments on: Dear Candy

By: Holy Terror

Holy Terror — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 09:13:29 +0000

It seems to me you are only popular because of your looks, is that what you want?

——————
Yah, been trying all my freaking life!!

By: candy(really)

candy(really) — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 06:04:00 +0000

I think you are wonderful. I think discount bin blow up dolls suck…and not in a “natural sensation”, sort of way.

Lots of talentless hacks get to be celebrities. But we already know that.Screw that dude/lady.

Where’s my Shiloh!!!

By: Javelin

Javelin — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 02:11:23 +0000

ahahahaha, bizarro reader mail is priceless. just priceless.

I think maybe the Concerned Customer’s ma-and-pa blow up doll store was run out of business by the “REAL DOLL” enterprise… So much bitterness, and vocabulary like ‘lifelike latex’ and ‘quality of life’.

And the Guidance Counselor is absolutely right– your show was so SERIOUS that I later realized my laughter was actually a lethal, reoccuring stomach spasm, triggered by sobering insights on stuff like Jenna Jameson’s nipple hor’dourves. excuse me, whore’dourves.

That last letter seems to be some kind of cross-cultural Mad-Lib … last time he sent me one of those, Mr. Kofi wasn’t nearly as creative! Good for him. and I bet if you asked, he would GLADLY
sell you some integrity!

By: martini lover

martini lover — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 02:00:13 +0000

i think they’re all sold out of integrity in los angeles, candy. it seems to be hard to find.
hilarious work, by the way. i’m with jane-cheers!

By: midevil

midevil — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 22:09:07 +0000

hello, kandie.

i am waiting still for your account #. must give me this for you to be rich. also unclaimed funds in ghana waiting for you and only you. don’t dissapoint me.

By: Zip

Zip — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 19:47:48 +0000

Wedgies created the early thong panty look. It was sort of like, “You put your chocolate in my peanut butter!” “No, you put your peanut butter in my chocolate!” kind of Reese’s Peanut Butter candy vibe…and an invention was created!!!

That’s how the thong was born!!!

By: jenner

jenner — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 18:21:49 +0000

C-Money

Alright, that did it. I already LOL’d at “Happy Farqin Holidays” but “C-Money” put me over the top. I am crying now. LOL

BTW, Ent Lawyer over at Crazy Days & Nights has a relay kind of thing going where he’s been writing back & forth with the “author” of one of these letters - if you haven’t seen it, and you get a chance, check it out. It is WELL worth it LOL

By: big joe

big joe — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 17:30:39 +0000

i get the same letters from overseas leaving me millions too! just a warning though. it takes awhile to get your money. i’m still waiting, but i know it will be any day now. and also be aware that your bank will clean out your account in order to make room for the millions that will soon be arriving. and they will foreclose on your current house because they know that you will soon move into a huge mansion. but i know that living in this rite aide shopping cart is worth it because it’s gonna be easy street within the week. i just know it.

By: Jane

Jane — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 15:16:01 +0000

OMG Candy, so funny. Your talent knows no boundries.
Seriously, let’s party!
*Raises martini glass* Cheers!

By: midevil

midevil — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 13:56:42 +0000

Listen, I need you to cash a cheque for me and put it into my account, since I don’t have online banking access. Once you deposit the money into my account, I will write you another check.