Rachael Ray has repeatedly denied divorce rumors, recently declaring: “John and I are happily, grotesquely, blissfully married.” So we asked body language expert Dr. Candy to analyze the pair’s interaction as they attended a charity event in NYC yesterday.
According to Dr. Candy, this lip-lock is a teensy bit strained. “It appears as though she’s thinking, ‘This asshole’s breath smells like another woman’s feet!’” surmises Dr. Candy.
Dr. Candy points out that these two share as much genuine chemistry as Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley. “Rachael is kind of leery and it shows,” she says. “She is pulling away and averting her eyes, similar to how many react to her bacon-wrapped meatloaf. I wouldn’t be surprised if she wanted to tear off his cheating testicles and shove them down his throat. Or perhaps cook them in her buffalo chicken chili.”
Dr. Candy added: “There’s no yum-o cooking happening in that household’s kitchen or bedroom — not even in 30 minutes or less.”
Hysterical!
December 7th, 2007 at 1:30 pmRachel is too pretty and popular to stay with a “Cheating Loser”. If you’re not happy Rachel, don’t be ashamed, dump him!
December 7th, 2007 at 3:31 pmI’d divorce her over those horrible meals she makes on her show all the time.
December 7th, 2007 at 4:25 pmHeath Ledger robbed her of the Joker role.
December 7th, 2007 at 5:02 pmthat kiss is just full of passion.
December 7th, 2007 at 5:53 pm“…you never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips…”
Ahahahahaha!
December 7th, 2007 at 7:38 pmhe’s smiling like: “I don’t care if you hate me, I’m still gonna get a buttload of your ritz cracker/dunkinfuckindonut moola! Bitch!”
December 8th, 2007 at 12:55 pmand SHE’s thinking:
“I am so gonna get Oprah on his ass!”
Rachael Ray is a gay, and her husband is a gnome troll. He always looks like he needs to drop a deuce, and she always looks like an r-tard. They deserve each other.
December 18th, 2007 at 9:21 am