If I Were to Cast Celebrities as Santa’s Reindeer…

Dec 17, 2007 | Tags:

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, as I’m sure you know, is a popular Christmas story about a reindeer who is initially rejected for his crazy red nose, but then saves the day when he’s able to lead Santa Claus’ team of reindeer through inclement weather (that I’m sure the weathermen never saw coming). The story is so popular, in fact, that it’s bound to be remade one of these days by a movie studio that’s too lazy to create any new stories (read: most any studio today).

Which led me to thinking…

If I were the casting director for the Rudolph remake, who would I cast in the lead roles? (Please note some of the names have been changed to reflect modern day sensibilities.)

amywhitehouse-blitzed.jpg

Starring Amy Winehouse as Blitzed!

trump-wanker.jpg

Starring Donald Trump as Wanker!

britney-stupid.jpg

Starring Britney Spears as Stupid!

zacefron-prancer2.jpg

Starring Zac Efron as Prancer!

angelina-vixen2.jpg

Starring Angelina Jolie as Vixen!

dannybonaduce-dancer.jpg

Starring Danny Bonaduce as Lap Dancer!

snoop-stoner.jpg

Starring Snoop Dogg as Stoner!

And, of course, the lead reindeer to light the way for Santa…

posh-beam.jpg

Victoria “Posh” Beckham, the High-Beamed Reindeer.

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  1. martini lover says:

    That’s so funny-love Angelina’s tattoo!

  2. helltotheno says:

    Thank you for being so creative Candy. I love you. Tho it could just be the beer I’m drinking. ;-)

  3. Vern says:

    This is the funniest shit EVER!!!

  4. midevil says:

    Chick, I totally thought you were going to do a story about Wino as the lead reindeer on Xmas eve, and how she crashes the sled because she’s blitzed. So then Snoop gets a circle going with the gang, and the stoned Trump sells off his golden antlers to buy another sled–but not before Bonaduce molests Santa Clause.

  5. jenner says:

    Starring Britney Spears as Stupid!

    *dying* LOL

  6. DJ says:

    Oh my God… This is the funniest thing I have read in a long time!!! Zac Efron as Prancer… classic!!! They were all great choices. This is hilarious!

  7. Holy Terror says:

    Whatever happened to the guy from Survivor suing Danny Bonaduce for assault? I hope it was dismissed already.

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