Week of January 21, 2008 highlights: Tom Cruise saves the world; Oprah Winfrey owns the world; Lindsay Lohan works with people who have left this world; and Britney Spears rocks my world.
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"The best humor columnist living in her house!"
--Fabricated News Weekly
"As funny as Jane Eyre!"
--National Life & People Enquirer of the World
"What year is it again?"
--Larry King, CNN


Cool report!!! So it’s Candy Kirby??? Great name!!! The video editing was fantastic…I thought your humor was spot on funny…and your comic timing was fab. The Highschool: The Musical thing with Tom Cruise laughing in the other cilp was a classic–and the being scared sober bit(???)…very funny. Spoiler Alert: I like the touch with the drink.
Really, Entertainment Tonight, and or, Access Hollywood could really use a report like yours, it would be refreshing to see. Sort of like Andy Rooney…but funny and intelligent, as opposed to Rooney’s dumb, funnyless, borefest of a corporate welfare job showcasing on 60 Minutes each week.
January 21st, 2008 at 5:54 amOooh… I missed the drama prairie dog. So glad he’s back!
January 21st, 2008 at 7:24 amLove your shirt and the whole clip. Once again, well done, Candy!
I used to think Tom’s grin and eyes were so cute, but now they creep me out. My favorite part was when you were starting to take a drink after looking at Mickey O’Rourke.
January 21st, 2008 at 7:55 amROTFL @ Britney addiction
Candy, glad I’m not alone. You have given me the courage to confess my own addiction. It started when she was carted off to the hospital in early January, and now I’m riveted. I’m constantly on x17, Finalpixx, TMZ and (dramatic sigh), WorldofBritney to see the latest news. What can we do, what is the cure, and DID she wear a bra today? Gotta go, I just heard a news clip that Adenoid and Brit were spotted buying kitty litter at Petco!
January 21st, 2008 at 8:25 amoh my god, Candy you’ve outdone yourself! hilarious. your little pout after being denied the martini was so genuine, as were the tom crusie reactions. I also loved the little burning-building/clutching magazine/shaking your head in confusion and agony montage. I hope Brian Williams picks up the story.
January 21st, 2008 at 10:42 amoh yeah– and the “Gayle’s Anatomy”– ahahahahaha
January 21st, 2008 at 10:43 amCandy, what’s up with your left breast? It looks huge in that dress.
January 21st, 2008 at 11:01 amOops! You did it again,
January 21st, 2008 at 11:04 amYou made us all laugh,
with your toxic drink scene!
Gimme More!
Perfect.
January 21st, 2008 at 12:36 pmLaughing from beginning to end!!! The Brit addiction fakommercial was spot on.
January 21st, 2008 at 1:19 pmLoving all the sarcasms… keep up the great work!
Hi, my name is Mitsu and I’m a Britneynewsaholic. Candy, thanks so much for sharing your story. I’ve been compulsively following Britney news since last fall, or whenever it was that the “HUH?” video came out. Time becomes such a blur when you’re reading about Britney all day…I spend hours every day on it, and I don’t even have a tv! It’s scary when Britneynewsaholism takes over your life, but with the support of fellow addicts I can learn to take it one day at a time and maybe get my life back.
Then again, maybe not - I heard she showed up for her depo today using the British accent!
January 21st, 2008 at 11:23 pmThe 2008 VBA goes to Ms. Candace [?] Kirby!
January 22nd, 2008 at 8:10 amAudience shrills to a SO