I Swear I Had Nothing to Do With This

Jan 25, 2008 |

So please don’t exact your revenge on me, Xenu. My bunker’s not ready yet!

A bunch of strange Web vigilantes are attacking the Church of Scientology, effectively hacking and shutting down the official Scientology Web site, as well as issuing a number of videos declaring their war on Scientology.

The group, which goes by the name of Anonymous, is a disparate collection of hackers and activists. It calls for a wave of attacks against Scientology after accusing the Church of “campaigns of misinformation” and “suppression of dissent.” The group also claims to have stolen a number of “secret documents” from the Church’s database, which it says are now circulating on file-sharing networks.

In the above video posted on YouTube, which has now been watched more than 800,000 times, the group says in a computer-generated voice:

“With the leakage of your latest propaganda video into mainstream circulation, the extent of your malign influence over those who have come to trust you as leaders has been made clear to us. Anonymous has therefore decided that your organization should be destroyed, for the good of your followers, for the good of mankind, and for our own enjoyment. We are Anonymous. We are Legion. We do not forgive. We do not forget. Expect us.”

This just has Wizard of Oz written all over it, doesn’t it? When we finally gather the courage to pull back the curtain and unveil the Wizard of Anonymous, we’re going to find ourselves face-to-face with a pimple-faced fourteen-year-old who outgrew Guitar Hero and needed something to keep himself amused. Well-done, young man! Well-done.

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  1. Javelin says:

    or the ‘one guy with a computer’ who calls himself the league of catholics (according to the fabulous kathy griffin)

  2. bluehawaii says:

    Can’t wait to see the “tween” behind THIS! heehee.

    (betcha’ it’s our national spelling bee champ.)

  3. Anonymous830426 says:

    Anon has many followers. It would be highly doubtful that Anon is a child. Their followers are many. I think you need to do some extensive research on Anon and 4chan. Seems you do not know much then to be quick to assume it is a teen. I love your site Candy and I get my lulz from you daily but this I had to say is probably most incorrect!

  4. Jane says:

    Love it! :) Would love to see the mighty (?) Xenu crazies taken down.
    If it is indeed the work of some teen hackers,
    that would be brilliant. So funny.

  5. martini lover says:

    i think hannah montana is behind this.

  6. Sara says:

    That was almost as creepy as the Tom Cruise scientology video. It is good that someone is willing to tackle this cult, but does it have to be in a scarey computerized voice? WTF?!

  7. Anonymous830426 says:

    Im guessing the real Anon is a woman…
    As for the computerized voice. :D It adds to Anons sexy Mystiqe! ;-)

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