Starring Vince Vaughn as the fast-talking funnyman!
Starring Shirley MacLaine as the quirky, no-holds-barred cynic!
Starring Ben Stiller as the fastidious, slightly neurotic nice guy!
Starring Owen Wilson as the boyishly charming rogue!
Starring Jaime Pressly as the trash-talking, cleavage-baring redneck!
Others…? Starring _________ as __________!
Eddie Murphy as a drag queen!
January 31st, 2008 at 11:08 pmClive Owen as the sexiest man alive!
January 31st, 2008 at 11:38 pmTom Cruise in denial
February 1st, 2008 at 12:32 amJack Nicholson’s been doing it for decades.
February 1st, 2008 at 3:28 amYay Vern!
February 1st, 2008 at 3:44 amJessica Simpson as dumb blonde
February 1st, 2008 at 6:39 am-Julia Roberts as America’s sweetheart with an annoying laugh that she uses in EVERY movie she makes, and said laugh is for some strange reason featured in every commercial for her newest piece of trash movie
February 1st, 2008 at 6:57 am-Bruce Willis as the tough smart ass
-Robin Williams as the manic _______ (fill in the blank)
-Kate Hudson as a poor imitation of her mother playing a ditzy blonde
-Kevin Costner as the slow talking dim-wit with an IQ of 80, but we’re supposed to think he’s hot so it’s o.k. that he’s incredibly dumb and boring
-Mike Myers as the obnoxious dip shit with the comic maturity of a 12 year old
-Nicholas Cage as the weird dude
-But the winner HAS to be ….. Jack Nicholson ….. who has been phoning in the same smarmy performance for years and years
Nick Cage now as the weird OLD dude.
February 1st, 2008 at 7:16 am(He’s showing his age.)
Sean Penn- he has no personality - save being an asshole.
February 1st, 2008 at 8:11 amChris Tucker as the high pitched fast talking counterpart.
February 1st, 2008 at 8:26 amJennifer Aniston as the girl next door.
Lisa Kudrow as the kooky girl next door (I think Friends was so successful b/c they were all playing themselves).
Adam Sandler as — well, Candy said it better than anyone a week or so ago. big dumb kid or something like that.
John Travolta as a dancing queen.
Fred Thompson as a stale, gruff politician.
Matthew McConaghey as a maybe-inbred,
February 1st, 2008 at 9:22 amredneck quick-talker
with no sense of personal-space ‘issues’.
Lindsay Lohan as a young girl with issues.
February 1st, 2008 at 9:28 amJessica Simpson as a ditzy blonde with a creepy, inappropriate father and nothing going for her except huge boobs.
February 1st, 2008 at 12:25 pmMateo as High Priest of The Altar of the Superficial and True Believer in All Things Candy! Oh, and Paula Abdul starring as a Hot Mess on Idol. Tuesday was a classic. “Burp!!”
February 1st, 2008 at 12:43 pmMorgan Freeman as the calm, wise advice giving old man
February 1st, 2008 at 2:31 pmAngelina Jolie as an over sexed bombshell with some serious issues
Hayden Christensen as….a piece of wood.
Sean Connery as a Scottish guy, even when he’s commanding a Russian submarine!
February 1st, 2008 at 3:25 pmMmmm, Sean Connery–no, wait–Mmmm, Ewan McGregor!
February 1st, 2008 at 4:44 pmmidevil, I second that “mmmmm”
February 1st, 2008 at 5:34 pmAdam Sandler as a big kid always goofing off.
February 1st, 2008 at 5:42 pmROTFL @ all, especially kellyd!!
February 1st, 2008 at 7:35 pmAnd Mel Gibson as the leering,
February 1st, 2008 at 9:44 pmstumbling stepfather.
George Clooney as a lovable rogue.
February 2nd, 2008 at 7:02 pmBrad Pitt as a hunk who wants to be taken seriously (but isn’t)
Matt Damon as a high I.Q. pinch hitter.
Ben Affleck as a putz.
Keanu as a putz.
Hugh Grant as a putz.
Clint Eastwood as the stogie-chewing, soft-spoken, wise, rough-hewn, “Blondie” cowboy.
February 3rd, 2008 at 4:28 pmmeg ryan as the hapless whiner who finds love with the guy who seems so wrong for her that he’s somehow just right
February 6th, 2008 at 10:39 am