Live blogging with Candy! My random thoughts about Rachael Ray’s talk show yesterday…
Candy:
9:01 – Rachael enters with a dramatic ‘round-the-head finger snap. Yup, this is going to be a good one.
9:03 – We’re introduced to “Adam, Obsessed KISS Fan,” who gives us a tour of the soon-to-be-redecorated KISS room in his house. The dude even has KISS coffee. And what the hell are KISS “incent burners”? Guy may want to spend less time with his Paul Stanley action figure and more time with his dictionary.
9:04 – Adam’s wife, who is either a saint or has been drunk their entire relationship. I’m betting on the latter.
9:05 – We’re introduced to Kristan Cunningham, “Rachael’s DIY buddy.” Rachael has a buddy for that? Huh. I thought that’s what a Rabbit was for.
9:07 – So they’re reorganizing Adam’s KISS room with none other than IKEA furniture. Rachael Ray is worth, what, $500,000 million? Okay, yeah, just checking.
9:10 – Little known fact: Adam is also the fifth Beatle.
9:18 – Wait, did he just say, “It was like opening up a porno into KISS world”?! [*REWIND*] Nope, he actually said “a portal into KISS world.” That’s no fun.
9:18 – If Rachael doesn’t stop doing that, I’m going to bust some EVOO in her ass.
9:20 – And again.
Yup, we’re the losers.
9:30 — Gene really needs to retire that tongue.
Which one’s the bigger meathead?
9:41 – Now Rachael’s making her own burgers with ground chorizo. “It’s going to be GOOOOOOOOD. It’s going to be really, really tasty.” (Note: When they add the second “really,” you know it’s going to be BAAAAAAAAAAAAAD.)
9:49 – Heh, heh. She just said “burger bulge.”
Only Rachael could fit that in her mouth. And she’s right: that looks really, REALLY tasty.
>>9:49 – “Running out of things to say about squishing meat in my hand,” she laughs. Yeah, well, your husband’s been rendered speechless by that for YEARS.
Too funny!
March 12th, 2008 at 11:11 amwhat a freakin nightmare
9:18 – If Rachael doesn’t stop doing that, I’m going to bust some EVOO in her ass.
I like the evoo enema idea though. I bet that would wipe that s.e grin off her face and replace it with the look I had on my face on my face when I heard she said “Mr. Honey Bear” and “everyone into the hot tub”
March 12th, 2008 at 11:21 amOh to hell with the EVOO couldn’t someone bust a cap in her ass? PPPLLLLLLEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEE Mr. Hiney Bear?
P.S. I think I widdled a little at the “Squishy Meat” line!!
March 12th, 2008 at 11:49 amThank you for pointing out the obvious: she is a ridiculous, self serving, excuse for a celebrity, or as we like to call her, “celeb-fraudity.”
Candy and 14, you are the bightest and most talented two women I’ve ever seen in one place at one time. I hope you get rich doing this.
Dr. L.
March 12th, 2008 at 12:41 pmAnyone have a muzzle?
March 12th, 2008 at 12:45 pmI can’t believe she has a show.
March 12th, 2008 at 1:11 pmDo people really watch it?
Ya gotta admit, though, that tongue Gene Simmons has…is a wonder of the world.
March 12th, 2008 at 2:42 pmKittypoodin, there isn’t a muzzle big enough or strong enough to contain that cavernous maw. Call the big boys constructing the new sarcophagus for Chernobyl…
March 12th, 2008 at 5:06 pmLove Your Show Rachel Ray
March 12th, 2008 at 11:16 pmIt’s late here in Oz, just got home from work and grabbed a beer. Girls, take a bow. Pervo animals, that hilarious link to ‘who’s a bigger douche?’, awmegawd this scream of a post and gord knows what else — 14 and Candy girls, it’s been a v tuff ol’ week and i sooooooooooo appreciate your work! Thankyouthankyouthankyou you really are a tonic — much good stuff to ya
March 14th, 2008 at 5:49 amMiss Mezza XX