“Sideshow Candy” is a video blog lampooning celebrity and entertainment news.
This week’s highlights: Mary Ann of Gilligan’s Island busted for marijuana possession; Michael Jackson busted for unemployment; and new commercial stars Fred and Sharon busted for being too damn awesome.
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"The best humor columnist living in her house!"
--Fabricated News Weekly
"As funny as Jane Eyre!"
--National Life & People Enquirer of the World
"What year is it again?"
--Larry King, CNN
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marry me?
March 14th, 2008 at 12:03 amI could mention Candy’s cleavage…but that would be a sexually gratuitous re-run of my comments critiquing last week’s video blog, so I won’t mention cleavage…even though technically I’m mentioning cleavage…but not really because I have only done that, off the record, still I must do it on the record so as to clarify my position that I am now vowing not to mention cleavage this week, so that everyone will know that I’m not mentioning cleavage because it will only promote the unnecessary sexually gratuitous tit-illation of my fellow readers!!! So, there!!!
And BTW, Titillation is spelled Titillation…not Tit-llation. Spelling it in a way that would serve to highlight the word “Tit” is simply sexually gratuitous–only bringing more attention to the fact that I am not mentioning Candy’s cleavage this week!!! And that would be wrong!!!
March 14th, 2008 at 2:13 amZip, I think you are trying to say you admire Candy’s cleavage, but in a nice way?
Let me do it for you.
Candy, your physical beauty approaches the brilliance of your intellect. You outshine ten million other women with the light from your mind, and your body nearly approaches.
Respectfully,
March 14th, 2008 at 8:37 amDr. L.
The commercial was hilarious and I love your cat!!! Thanks for the laughs Candy.
March 14th, 2008 at 8:41 amPoor Mary Jane, er, Mary ANN. All that pressure to be the nice one. What’s an innocent farm girl to do? Leave her on a deserted island and she is going to try to grow something. Once she finds a plant that will grow, she will try to eat it. If it doesn’t taste good, she will burn it. If it gets her high, she will grow more . . . you can’t really blame her.
March 14th, 2008 at 9:45 amThanks, Dr. L! Your check is in the mail. (Just wait a few weeks… years… to cash it.)
March 14th, 2008 at 10:52 amI’m sure that Fred and Sharon’s e-mail is stuffed to the brim with booking requests.
March 14th, 2008 at 11:05 amDear Dr. L
As my statement already has clearly pointed out, I never even mentioned Candy’s cleavage this week!!! However, you did. Not that I’m complaining…but then again, obviously, neither is Candy. And after all, as a human being, even doctor has needs. BTW, the check is in the mail Dr. L!!!
Who needs Dr. Phil when we have you??? Still, Dr. Oz is cool anyway!!!
March 14th, 2008 at 1:15 pmThe fucking mug shot of Marrian was goddamn priceless. A happy stoned 60 something. She is my fucking role model.
Candy, I could just cup my hands under your rack. Jenn F. has a fabulous rack too. Deana, I want to see your rack. Feel free to send me a picture of your rack. Kisses! Kisses! Kisses!
March 14th, 2008 at 5:57 pmPictures of racks??? Nude racks??? Be sure to send me some pictures too, only for professional reasons, of course.
March 14th, 2008 at 11:12 pmAunt J loves your show so much!
March 15th, 2008 at 2:09 pmThose two old people are hilarious! “It will improve your life” XD
April 5th, 2008 at 9:34 pm