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If there’s one thing I’ve learned about sex study findings reported in the media — especially newspapers such as the Daily Mail, which is littered with headlines like, “Horny Teens Get Worse Grades!” or magazines such as Cosmo, which educates us with gems like, “Men Love Lots of Sex!” — it’s that most findings are either completely useless or completely obvious.
And then there’s this:
“Why Casanovas should set their sights on the girls with big eyes!”
Yes, Casanovas, according to the journal, Evolution and Human Behaviour, chicks with larger eyes are more likely to have one-night stands. Especially — and this is just a little tip from me to you — if they happen to be covered with beer goggles.
So it’s official: Next time you fellas are in a bar looking to get a piece, be sure to target a doe-eyed lass and ask if she has a mirror in her pocket, because you can see yourself in her pants. Her big eyes are sure to see you in there, too!
This also explains why Marge always wears those sexy strapless numbers:
I knew she must be getting some on the side. Big-eyed trollop!
My, what big eyes you have……
April 9th, 2008 at 1:46 pmMaybe this is why Renee Zellweger is always squinting, so people don’t think she’s a slut.
April 9th, 2008 at 3:07 pmI always knew there was something about that Marge.
April 9th, 2008 at 8:09 pmBig bulging eyes can also mean you have a thyroid problem. Think the runaway bride.
April 10th, 2008 at 8:03 amGood thing Aunt J’s eyes get smaller when she drinks too much.
April 10th, 2008 at 12:52 pm