“You May Now Taser the Bride…”

Normally, I find weddings to be akin to, say, The English Patient: A weepy, touching spectacle, during which I can’t help but glance at my watch every two minutes and wonder when the agony’s going to end.

However, I sure wish I’d been invited to THESE nuptials:

A reenactment of how Candy imagines the wedding reception proceeded

A wedding reception in Westchester, NY, came to an abrupt end when police were forced to use a stun gun to subdue two people — the groom and his daughter — after a ruckus erupted over the band, reports AP.

I cannot lie. I, too, have come close to opening up a can of whoop ass over The Electric Slide. (Seriously, how many times can a woman be expected to walk, clap and rock — or is it clap, rock and walk? — without eventually snapping and knocking over a heart-shaped dolphin ice sculpture or two?)

Police officers, who are allowed to use a stun gun when they can’t otherwise get control of a suspect or feel like having some fun, tasered the groom and the daughter. Which tends to put a damper on the occasion even faster than a drunk uncle getting sick in the chocolate fondue pot.

Yes, I’m looking at you, Uncle Ron.

The 21-year-old daughter says she and her father were left with bruises. Both were arrested on misdemeanor charges, while the bride faces a felony criminal mischief charge. “To have and to hold… after serving five to ten.”

The daughter says the couple was legally married 22 years ago, but had a long-delayed church wedding Saturday.

Because, you know, they’re good religious folk like that.

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