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I’ve recently come across alarming news items that I feel compelled to pass along to you, my readers, in hopes that you will more wholeheartedly appreciate your loved ones and possessions, and cherish your time with them, before they grow invisible.
Yes, I’m afraid this is only a matter of time, as evidenced by a recent police report published in Washington’s Federal Way Mirror. The report cites two women who reveal that they’ve been having sexual intercourse with a ghost — the same ghost, no less — over the past two years.
That’s right. Two whole years of spectral sex. Which makes me wonder, what was it that finally made them say, “Hey! No more paranormal orgasms!” On second thought, THAT’s probably exactly what motivated them to turn their invisible lover over to police.
Lest you think lovers are the only thing jumping on the invisibility bandwagon, check out this story from Louisville, Kentucky, where a man was arrested for pumping gas into an “imaginary” vehicle. Okay, so two bags of marijuana and a large amount of Ecstasy were also found, but who’s to say the drugs were involved? I mean, did the police even CHECK the invisible car to see if the guilty sex-hungry ghost was in there? Nope. And now the Ecstasy-fueled ghost is probably headed to Nashville in his invisi- car to make love to yet more willing ladies for years on end. The horror.
Just hope they use an invisible condom, like Jamie Lynn Spears did.
What sucks the most about that invisible car is that the big ol’ bag of weed would have been just floating there with no trunk / car seat / glove compartment to hide it. *shakes head*
And sex with a ghost! What if you got pregnant? Could the baby just drift through the walls of your body when it’s fully developed, or would you still have to birth it? What would that be like? One big flappy draft from within? Sheesh.
April 21st, 2008 at 8:59 pmSo you’re saying having a ghost baby would be like a queef?
April 21st, 2008 at 9:50 pmAunt J has an invisible dog. It’s the best kind of pet!
April 22nd, 2008 at 8:11 amhave i introduced you guys to my invisible boyfriend? he looks just like a young paul newman!
April 22nd, 2008 at 10:17 amI love paranormal, supernatural stuff so I wanted to know more about the 2 women having sex with a ghost. I mean, were they roomates, were they 2 different women reporting the same thing at the same time? Were they high? Tested for blood alchol? Details! I need more details!
April 22nd, 2008 at 5:53 pm