Men are now free to release their Penis Security Detail, as police in the Congo have arrested 13 individuals suspected of stealing, or shrinking, their victims’ penises.
Sounds like those poor victims really got the shaft.
From Reuters:
Rumors of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo’s sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.
Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure…
“But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it’s become tiny or that they’ve become impotent, (said Kinshasa’s police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko.) To that I tell them, ‘How do you know if you haven’t gone home and tried it’,” he said.
Hard to argue with that logic, huh?
No word on whether police also found Brad Pitt’s balls.
I was really worried about this to tell you the truth!!!
April 25th, 2008 at 3:05 pmPoor Bastards!!! Vern must be the ring leader!!!
Just kidding!!!
April 25th, 2008 at 3:28 pmThis has Vern written all over it.
BAHHHHH!
April 25th, 2008 at 4:08 pmThis one is for Vern:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byDiILrNbM4
April 25th, 2008 at 4:23 pmI thought Juliette Lewis swallowed Brad Pitt’s balls.
April 25th, 2008 at 5:17 pmThis is an example of Koro: a belief that the genitals have been stolen, or that they are fatally shrinking into the body. A mischievous pink-coiffed scamp known as Vern is often behind the scare and I think it’s bloody hilarious
April 25th, 2008 at 11:14 pmActually, I may be falsely accusing Vern, I think the Waylans bros tried to make a run for it and Castration Chick finally caught up with them. Apologies Vern.
April 26th, 2008 at 12:14 amThe reason why Vern has failed to comment on this story is the fact that it is difficult to get on the internet when you are in prison for stealing and shrinking penises!!!
April 26th, 2008 at 2:54 amOh Babies, My Lambs,
April 26th, 2008 at 5:08 amI’m not in the habit of trying to shrink penises!!!
Quite the opposite, in fact!
Sorry I missed all the fun! I was “busy”!
April 26th, 2008 at 5:09 amVern: God, your comebacks are always so funny! Like I said - it’s obviously Castration Chick who’s in the slammer.
April 26th, 2008 at 11:43 amVern, I’m sure you were very busy…escaping prison over false allegations of penis shrinking can be difficult. Welcome back!!!
April 26th, 2008 at 11:27 pmGeez, what kind of reputation do I have-no one assumes that I could be helping or even BE Castration Chick!
April 27th, 2008 at 5:50 amI mean, yeah…..that getting out of prison thing is rough!
Amy had it easy!
Haha!!! I bet it would make a good Women In Prison movie though!!!
April 27th, 2008 at 10:50 amTo quote Daniel Plainview-
“I’m done.”
April 27th, 2008 at 11:49 amYou know…”I’m Done” would make a good title for a porn Women In Prison movie!!!
April 28th, 2008 at 2:23 am