This post is rated PG-13 and Anti-Parents. Not suitable for children under 13 or my mom and dad.
Perhaps I’m just easily confused or always tipsy, but oftentimes when I spy a sex toy, I’m not sure if it’s intended to bring pleasure, clean my carpet or mash my potatoes. So, being the thorough, dedicated reporter that I am, I’ve decided to get my hands — and mind — dirty with a hard-hitting investigative report:
SEX TOY OR HOUSEHOLD PRODUCT?!
Let’s see if you can determine which of these is a sex aid, and which is found in Target’s housewares aisle:
1. Sex Toy? Or Household Product?
1. If you guessed Household Product, you are WRONG!
Introducing the Vortex Vibrations Suction Vacuum Cleaner Vibrator, a clitoral stimulator that uses a flow of air to vibrate the clitoris. You’ll never moan about Hoovering again!
2. Sex Toy or Household Product?
2. Answer…
Household product. This is the Super Slim USB Mouse for your computer. Not the rabbit for your other buttons.
3. You know the drill: Sex Toy or Household Product?
3. Answer…
“I Rub My Fishie” is a massager for those who like some bulging fish eyes with their sexy time. That is, women who find Rodney Dangerfield attractive.
4. Sex Toy or Household Product?
4. Answer…
Don’t try putting this on your kitchen drawer just yet. nJoy’s Pure Wand “provides a direct connection to your favorite Spot – G or P - or wherever feels so good.”
Yeah, you’re right — it would still work on the drawer. Maybe I’ll actually step foot in the kitchen now!
Stay tuned for the next edition of “Sex Toy or Household Product?” (Okay, Mom, you can open your eyes now…)
Aunt J got them all right. Aunt J knows her sex toys!
April 30th, 2008 at 2:11 pmThe vacuum sounds dangerous.
April 30th, 2008 at 2:53 pm“You’ll never moan about Hoovering again!” well you might moan, mew or howl depending on how much the “little man in the boat” likes the air movement
April 30th, 2008 at 3:25 pmYes, Candy, this should become a regular feature.
April 30th, 2008 at 3:36 pmI don’t know, that mouse looks pretty hot…
April 30th, 2008 at 3:43 pmLove this segment, please make it a regular feature.
April 30th, 2008 at 5:57 pmIndian, Please! might be turned on by Aunt J.
April 30th, 2008 at 6:11 pmLOL @ Indian, Please!
April 30th, 2008 at 6:20 pmadded bonus! the fish one could double as your childs play thing!
April 30th, 2008 at 6:22 pmmore bang for your buck!
You mean a vacuum is actually MEANT to clean the floor?
April 30th, 2008 at 7:49 pmHooray Aunt J! Puppet got ‘em all right! Puppet’s in the house ya’ll.
April 30th, 2008 at 8:28 pmFrewt = funny
April 30th, 2008 at 9:51 pmDamn, I only got about 1/2 right.
May 1st, 2008 at 10:28 am