This explains why my dad (a.k.a. “Seagull Birdseye”)’s skin is so silky smooth…
The latest facial to hit New York is a mask made with — you guessed it — bird excrement.
So scrape the crap from your windshield and wipe it on your face for a rosy glow!
Shizuka New York Spa’s Geisha Facial, which sounds like a Japanese porn tactic, contains powdered nightingale droppings and costs $180. Free at your local park. The Japanese powder, also known as uguisu no fun, is rich in the amino acid guanine, said to brighten and cleanse skin.
International bird poop cream history lesson (because I’m nothing if not an educator): In the 18th century, geishas and kabuki actors used the powder to clean heavy white makeup off their faces.
And why not? Some people enjoy getting shit-faced!
Ah! Candy, this is why I love you… you always come up with the perfect one liner to end your write-ups.
April 30th, 2008 at 11:46 amI’ll skip the shitified (FUN word! Use it in a sentence today.) face and move on to the Skinny Girl’s Margarita or maybe just a Guinness…mmmmmm, libationsssss.
April 30th, 2008 at 11:47 am$180?
April 30th, 2008 at 12:16 pmnah. I’ll just lay under the eaves and hope i get lucky.
Aunt J doesn’t think this trend is going to fly.
April 30th, 2008 at 2:17 pmThis is for the birds.
April 30th, 2008 at 2:54 pmWhile the rest of us proles are trying to figure out how to pay for enough gas to get to work and back home tomorrow, the rich and stupid are paying big money for powdered poop TO PUT ON THEIR FACES.
The Chinese curse is so apropos: we are, indeed, living in interesting times.
April 30th, 2008 at 3:44 pm