2004 - 2008
Candy’s Imaginary Love Affair with Ryan Reynolds, which flourished around the time Ryan debuted his abs in Blade, has passed away in the greedy engagement-ring clad hands of Scarlett Johansson.
The Nanny Diaries star is expected to — *gag* — show off her sparkler at tonight’s Metropolitan Museum Costume Institute Gala in NY. Sources say Scarlett is eager to “show off her rock” with her D&G gown. No word on whether the happy couple will also wear matching straw hats.
Candy’s Imaginary Love Affair with Ryan is survived by her other fabricated relationships, Ryan’s six pack and these potential processional lyrics:
Did you forget about me, Mr. Duplicity
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face, how quickly I was replaced
Are you thinking of me when you f*ck her?
Don’t worry, Candy. There’s always George.
May 5th, 2008 at 2:09 pmThose abs, those pecs, those other interesting muscle groups! Sigh.
Love the Alanis M. lyrics — when she gets it right, she gets it VERY right.
May 5th, 2008 at 3:32 pmRing, schming, it was the hat that made you ditch his ass!
May 6th, 2008 at 4:45 amIsn’t she 22? Oh yeah, that will last.
May 6th, 2008 at 10:59 amWell, he was engaged to Alanis, too, so I’ll believe this is for keeps when they actually marry. Besides, when he sees her new “music” video, it’s going to be all over.
May 6th, 2008 at 11:25 am