To get a better understanding of why men use hookers — other than, you know, for easy sex — researchers invited more than 100 Chicago-area men who frequently use prostitutes to talk about their attitudes and experiences, reports the Chicago-Tribune.
And, afterward, the Johns used their study compensation to buy more sex!
Not surprisingly, about 40 percent said they are usually intoxicated when they seek out a Lady of the Night, for which I believe the technical description is, “Wearing Hooker Goggles.” In addition, most men said they viewed their interaction with prostitutes as a business contract that entitles them to treat the women any way they like — similar to how Donald Trump views marriage.
Key quote: “Prostitutes are a product, like cereal,” said one man. “You go to the grocery, pick the brand you want and pay for it. It’s business.”
Which led me to thinking… my god, hooker cereal! What a missed branding opportunity! Products would include:
MILFY Charms!
Frosty O’s!
And, of course…
… Honey Nut Call Girls.
i was having a really crappy day and just knew you’d make me laugh. thanks candy!
May 6th, 2008 at 1:13 pmYou rock!
May 6th, 2008 at 1:17 pmHow about Kall Girl Krispies: it’s snap, crack and pop!
May 6th, 2008 at 3:10 pm“Can’t get enough of SUPER HOOKER POPS!”
May 6th, 2008 at 4:52 pmWhat about “Count Suckula”
May 6th, 2008 at 4:53 pmAnd just WHERE do you think
May 6th, 2008 at 4:55 pm“Trix” got it’s name from?
holy crap, vern, you’re on a roll!
May 6th, 2008 at 5:15 pmAnd then theres ‘Pop Tarts’…
May 6th, 2008 at 5:37 pmVern is actually a leading porno writer–ooopsie, didn’t mean to *blow* your cover, chickee.
May 6th, 2008 at 5:38 pmOh Mid! *fumes*
May 6th, 2008 at 5:46 pmI thought that was just between us!
Especially as it sadly remains unpublished.
I… er… it got rejected again?
May 6th, 2008 at 5:58 pmBanana & Nut Munch.
May 6th, 2008 at 6:24 pmQuakin’ Oats!
May 6th, 2008 at 7:15 pmCaptain Crotch!
May 6th, 2008 at 8:37 pmBanana&Nut crunch = Ronaldo’s favourite!!
Vern: I’m going to have to report you to our Bible Study Class for being a) a porn writer b) too darn funny - I was pissing myself laughing at your suggestions.
May 6th, 2008 at 10:09 pmThank you also: Candy, Librarian Kathleen, Mid, Aunt J, Fewt, Eize and Jenn F. for making me laugh and get soda bubbles in my nose - haven’t had that since I was a kid!
Oh and these are my cereal suggestions:
BackSeat-a-Bix
May 6th, 2008 at 10:51 pmVice Krispies
Extreme Kreme Area Ho’s
Yes Mid!
Those people at the food network have NO sense of humor! Lawsuit, schmawsuit!
Brit Bit,
May 7th, 2008 at 3:40 amI concur! Let the waterworks begin!
oh yeah, those bible people don’t come within 50 yards of me, so bring it on!
Vern: I’m sure “those people” would love to come on your heart though!
May 7th, 2008 at 9:54 pm