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CANDY IS ON A TWO-WEEK HIATUS AND WILL RETURN ON JULY 15.
HAPPY SUMMER!

"The best humor columnist living in her house!"
--Fabricated News Weekly
"As funny as Jane Eyre!"
--National Life & People Enquirer of the World
"What year is it again?"
--Larry King, CNN


uh…her career? Indian, Please! just ripped a piece of his turban in mourning.
May 12th, 2008 at 10:49 amAunt J thinks it’s scary that Angelina’s legs are the same width as Zahara’s.
May 12th, 2008 at 11:40 amAnd Shiloh’s too, Aunt J!
Dr. L.
May 12th, 2008 at 1:30 pmSuch odd little girls who like to wear black.
May 12th, 2008 at 3:03 pmFirst good thing: Angie wears flats while she’s pregnant, instead of making a fashion statement with 6 inch stilletos.
Second good thing: Zahara is walking by herself.
One weird thing: how does Angie have the strength to carry grown children around the way she does?
May 12th, 2008 at 3:21 pmUh, that’s stilettos. My face is red.
May 12th, 2008 at 3:23 pmI can’t take her seriously. I have said it over and over again.
She looks like hell.
I wish someone would do a parody of her on SNL.
May 12th, 2008 at 6:47 pmI bet they wear all black because it makes laundry easier. oh wait, they can afford like 5 machines. nevermind. she’s a vampire.
May 12th, 2008 at 7:09 pmdamn!!!
i just knew one day angie was going to piss off half of black america, including the biracial kids, like myself, who hated to look back at photos when the white side of my family did not understand my AFRO. damn zahara, i so feel you. just go along with the therapy. Is it too much to ask that at some point ma or pa pull a comb thru that childs head? damn i KNOW that MUST have some sort of moisturizer in monaco.
May 12th, 2008 at 7:58 pmit sucks when your new “in” item grows an afro.
May 12th, 2008 at 8:02 pmShiloh still doesn’t wear shoes. Poor child.
May 13th, 2008 at 12:18 amWhile I personally sympathize with anyone with HAIR ISSUES, Deanna1104,
May 13th, 2008 at 6:19 amYou have to understand, some days toddlers do not want their hair fixed. I don’t think Zahara is being neglected, she just rather go shopping that day. Cause it sure looks like she’s running THAT show!
LOL @ Deanna
May 13th, 2008 at 6:49 amNO NO NO VERN. We cannot afford to let our children demand to walk around with afros uncombed. that leads to knots, tangles, nappy jokes, don king jokes, why didnt your mamma comb your hair jokes, can i use you to dust under my bed and in the corner jokes. NO NO NO. lol. i’m just saying what the kids on the playground are going to say. but i guess zahara could retaliate with something like, kiss my JOLIE-PITT ASS!! Now get the *($*&) up off that swing.
May 13th, 2008 at 9:29 amYou’re right Deanna,
May 13th, 2008 at 9:43 ama pushy kid is no reason to drop our standards!
Besides, you made me gigle too much to pretend to disagree!
So when she finally gets around to putting awesome little braids in Zahara’s hair, are the beads going to be miniature vials of blood?
May 13th, 2008 at 11:16 ammidevil you are mess.
May 13th, 2008 at 8:09 pmall i’m saying vern is a little afro sheen goes a long way, but one must use a can with caution cuz too much oil sheen can weigh an afro down and cause it to lose its bounce, shape and staying power….. but none at all?! now that’s just uncivilized. lol
LOL@ Javelin!!!!! You are too right.
Deanna, you are biracial???? It’s amazing the image you get of people you’ve never met via written correspondence. Don’t ask me why - I thought your ass was so white, it glowed in the dark and you had blonde hair! Fucking AY!!!!
You know, I always loved the Don King rebelliousness. I love seeing black women with big afros who put a little shine in their hair. I think that is cool as fuck!!!!!!
I wonder if Jolie will show Zahara how to make voodoo dolls in the future?
May 14th, 2008 at 2:50 pmWhat the HELL?
DK did you fall and bump your damn head? now please explain to me which glow in the dark white woman puts hot sauce on porkrinds? have you forgotten so quickly the days of GOTA when we kicked it about SPAM, chitlins and porkrinds?
jesus penis talk about bringing back days from the play ground.. what? your ma is buhlack and your pa is wha?? is that why your hair dont match your color? i dont think i should play with you no more. lol just when i thought it safe to forget you dredge it all back up dk and you too candy. :0)
May 15th, 2008 at 12:49 pm