Growing up, there was one topic that was always off-limits in my house. A word I dared not even utter. Something my parents considered so repugnant and unsavory, that I would have to shamefully sneak off to my bedroom to do it alone.
I am, of course, talking about farting.
Oh sure, there was the one time that my dad fell asleep on the living room floor and woke up himself up from committing that very act — “What? What? Who’s there?!” — causing my mom and I to nearly die from uncontrollable giggles. A memory that makes me laugh to this very day.
But other than that…? Flatulence was verboten.
So I can only imagine the humiliation that British office worker Theresa Bailey felt when she had to tell her manager that colleagues were harassing her… by farting on her.
Yes, after enduring beach balls thrown at her head, being forced to wear a badge saying “I’m simple” when she had problems with her computer, and other mature behavior, Theresa finally resigned and sent an e-mail to the company director, taking the, um, wind out of her colleagues’ sails:
“The number of times the person at my side would lift up his bottom off the chair and fart and think it’s funny is unreal.” Theresa added he regularly “lifted his right cheek” and broke wind in her direction throughout her brief time at the firm.
Lest you think something doesn’t smell right here: The Daily Mail reports Theresa WAS awarded almost $10,000 for her nasal pain and suffering.
Wow. Gas really IS expensive these days.
She deserves more than that. Gross.
May 15th, 2008 at 1:09 pmWe just let them rip in my house. But what do you expect in a family with four sons?
May 15th, 2008 at 2:01 pmOh shit Candy, you have me rolling over here!!! Too ckufing funny!
May 15th, 2008 at 2:46 pmDear God, but I am so not surprised. The shit that takes place in the workplace is sometimes even worse than the crap which goes on under the roof of a dysfunctional family!!!!
My friend works in a doctor’s office at the hospital where I was previously employed. One of the secretaries there is lactose intolerant but she’ll go gorge herself on dairy products anyway. She will fart freely in the office and then spray lysol. My friend says it smells like lysol and a fart. This same woman would sometimes go fart by the coffee pot, assuming no one would smell it. Of course she gets away with it.
The poor British woman deserved a hell of a lot more than 10 thousand fucking pounds. I agree with danceswithpoodles. The farters should have their names and phone number in addition to photos printed in the fucking newspaper for all to see.
May 15th, 2008 at 8:47 pmFIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!
May 15th, 2008 at 10:36 pmDemon Kitty, I think that picture could be your new avatar.
May 15th, 2008 at 11:38 pmThe story’s hillariuos.
May 16th, 2008 at 10:34 amDon’t people know there’s something called manners?
BTW I love the kitty