Let’s face it. We’ve all felt like calling the police on an animal at one time or another.
For me, there was the pet hermit crab, Igor, that took a particular liking to the palm of my hand. Ouch. And my friend’s chihuahua with the Napoleon Complex that COMPLETELY mauled my right ankle in sixth grade. Little f*cker.
Not that I hold a grudge or anything.
And, of course — you ladies will know what I’m talking about — the dozens of dogs that, um, violate our nether regions… I mean, REALLY dig their noses in there, without even asking!… announcing to the world that it is indeed our time of the month.
That should at LEAST be a misdemeanor.
So color me pleased to hear from alert reader, Miss Mezza, that law enforcement is FINALLY cracking down on this unacceptable animal behavior. Yes, Mexican donkey, Blacky, will now have a tough time getting a job as a result of his criminal record, having just been released from jail for assault and battery.
Blacky was thrown in the chokey for biting and kicking two men near a ranch outside Tuxtla Gutierrez, the capital of Chiapas state. Officials freed the donkey after its owner paid a fine of $36 and the $115 hospital bill of the men, who suffered bites to the chest and a broken ankle. Authorities say he also must pay $480 to each man for missed work days.
Meanwhile, Blacky has chosen to represent himself at trial. When local reporters questioned the donkey’s curious decision, he responded, “An ass as a lawyer — is that really such a novel concept?”
Ba-da-bum.
Aunt J would hate to have to share a toilet with that cellmate.
May 22nd, 2008 at 2:04 pmSomehow, I feel Blacky got a bum rap.
May 22nd, 2008 at 2:43 pmClearly, Blacky’s side of the story has not been told. What, exactly, were those fellows attempting to do?
Inquiring minds want to know.
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:32 pmWho do you have to fuck to get a cigarette around here?…Hee Haw…
May 22nd, 2008 at 8:55 pmIndian, please!
May 22nd, 2008 at 9:08 pmAt least those guys got some ass
May 23rd, 2008 at 7:07 amleoNY - snicker! I was going to post a corny pun like yours but didn’t have the balls to do it.
May 23rd, 2008 at 9:43 pm