What a coincidence, Lily — somebody spiked MY 15 tequila shots and four margaritas on Cinco de Mayo. I mean, really, that’s the only reasonable explanation for why I was so out of it!
[Source; Picture of "Drugged" Lily]
Jun
5
2008
That Explains It!
Filed Under: I'll Drink to That
10 Responses to “That Explains It!”
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why is she famous?
June 5th, 2008 at 1:46 pmHmmph!
June 5th, 2008 at 2:02 pmShe’s just like Lohan when she got popped with coke-
“the pants weren’t mine…wah wah”
Lily says:
“the Hair wasn’t mine…wah wah”
Deal with it Bitch!
gin = 1
bubbly = 1
beer = 1
vodkas = at least 2
Total = At least five beverages. That is enough to get socked, especially if you’re coming down from a coke/crack binge.
June 5th, 2008 at 4:03 pmVern: it’s time to take Lily Allen in hand. I have dispatched her majesty’s guards to give her a good telling off and a crack team of hairdressers to remove the offending hair. She will also be given a DVD with a video montage of your various drinking exploits with Mateo as instructional material.
June 5th, 2008 at 6:42 pmP.S. a team of surgeons has been sent to Lily’s pal for the nerve-wracking and intricate task of removing that creepy bow that is fused to her head.
June 5th, 2008 at 6:43 pmThank you Brit Bit,
I hope you include the Kate Moss- Amy Winehouse-Kortny Love-Vern-Mateo tapes as well. The girl needs to learn the hard way!
On a lighter note, Ted Kennedy’s surgeons said they would be happy for a real challenge: re: the bow-head incident, after Teddy’s operation was such a breeze and all.
June 5th, 2008 at 7:10 pmVern: “Ted Kennedy’s surgeons …” brilliant! snicker! snort! whinny!
June 5th, 2008 at 7:20 pmMartini: Lily is famous because she can do this trick where she shoots ping-pong balls out of her twat and into jam jars.
June 5th, 2008 at 7:22 pmI love it when they blame everything else for them being an embarrassing little f*ck-up.
June 5th, 2008 at 7:51 pmI have heard the calling and must needs obey… I shall do this for Lily, The Crown and the World. And free Blood Orange Mojitos. (You gotta get one. Faaaaabulous!!!)
June 6th, 2008 at 12:47 am