Welcome to the fourth edition of “Men’s All-Time Favorite Mattress Moves,” in which I respond to that especially horny member of the family of women’s magazines, Cosmopolitan, as select men reveal the long-held secrets to feisty foreplay.
That’s right: FEISTY!
Here’s what they — and I — had to say:
FRANK: “After an hour of working me up with tortuously hot foreplay, my ex would clench her legs together and force me to pry them apart if I wanted some relief. Fighting for it always brought out this exhilarating primal instinct in me.”
CANDY: … Writes Frank from his jail cell.
SANDY: “When I put a finger in my girl, she inserted one of her digits too so I could feel our fingers together.”
CANDY: Well, fish sticks DO make a delicious finger food.
HOWARD: “My girl held my tongue in place with her teeth during a make-out session while she tickled the tip with her own tongue. Electrifying.”
CANDY: Um, does your “girl”’s last name happen to be Lecter? If so… GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!
The first response is perfect! There’s nothing hot about reluctance, Frank. Why play that game?
June 10th, 2008 at 11:29 pmNext on Jerry Springer: Why my gf encouraged me to become a rapist.
June 11th, 2008 at 5:43 amFrank’s ex must have been reading that abstinence magazine that Candy posted a link to in Monday’s Brain Candy
June 11th, 2008 at 12:11 pmAunt J loves this column!
June 11th, 2008 at 1:57 pmWonderful feature, Candy.
(But, teeth scare me, and always scared the guys I used to … know.)
June 11th, 2008 at 3:43 pm