I believe I can lie…
R. Kelly — who apparently has GOOD luck on Friday the 13th — has been cleared of all child porn charges after the jury deliberated for a whopping 24 hours.
All I can say is… *SIGH*
Indicted just over six years ago for videotaping himself having sex with his 13-year-old goddaughter, R. Kelly reportedly cried softly while listening to the verdict, as his lawyers held his hands and he shuddered with a sigh of relief. Kelly then slapped his attorney on the back and gave him a hug.
Did I mention… *SIGH*?
Sources say Kelly plans to celebrate his victory tonight by trolling for dates at the local playgrounds with Michael Jackson.
If he doesn’t manage to get two underage dates tonight he can always head home and urinate on the infamous Miley Cyrus pic.
*Shudder*
June 13th, 2008 at 4:31 pmShudder indeed. nasty stuff. But what do you expect on Friday the 13th?
June 13th, 2008 at 7:13 pmdear mr. kelly,
here’s a tip to stay outta trouble in the future; if her sneakers light up when she skips, or there are wheels in the heels she glides on down the sidewalk, you may choose a different play date.
signed,
June 13th, 2008 at 10:30 pmconcerned mom in florida
F*cking shit.
June 14th, 2008 at 12:43 amI read somewhere the girl was his goddaughter. Maybe Naomi can become a child avenging superhero and beat a bitch down!
June 14th, 2008 at 4:17 amI read that somewhere too. That makes it even more wrong. We all know R. Kelly is guilty, he just has really good lawyers.
June 14th, 2008 at 5:14 amDeanna, you put it perfectly. Even people who aren’t parents like myself feel revulsion about the charges he faced.
June 14th, 2008 at 2:47 pmIf you’ve got enough money, you can walk away with about anything.
June 15th, 2008 at 6:58 am