People magazine, which I once believed was one of the more credible celebrity rags, has clearly succumbed to the crack pipe, naming Mario Lopez the “Hottest Bachelor”:
More like “Most Likely to Pad His Calvin Kleins.”
“The A Chorus Line star reveals what he’s looking for in a girlfriend,” teases People’s site. However, CandyKirby.com knows his top criteria: 1) beauty; 2) a willingness to “look the other way”; 3) many dinners at Hooters.
What a catch!
Other “hot bachelors” on their list include: Brody Jenner (job: professional nightclub staple); Terrence Howard (don’t forget the baby wipes); Britney Spears’ brother AND Scarlett Johansson’s twin brother (um, what?); Gerard Butler (yeah, okay); David Cook; Bret Michaels (bandana included!); and, of course, the Gossip Girl posse.
On second thought, maybe Usher has a point. This list is enough to turn any woman gay.
Gerard Butler? YEEEESSSSSSSS!! The others…I think not.
June 18th, 2008 at 2:54 pmMarky Mark for a hundred, please.
June 18th, 2008 at 2:56 pmWhat the librarian said.
June 18th, 2008 at 3:22 pmMario was cute on Nip/Tuck, but now he looks like a tool.
why are we supposed to care about ‘bachelors’ anyway? no one’s gonna read “Oh, Britney’s brother wants a girl who ‘can make him laugh’!” that’s TOTALLY me, I’m SO MOVING to … Kentuckyville Louisiana, or maybe I’ll go stalk Bret Michaels.
June 18th, 2008 at 3:46 pmGerard Butler is the only real man in the bunch.
June 18th, 2008 at 11:11 pmOh, no, Vern and Candy. Our first fight. I’m on the Mario train. Yep, I’m that shallow. I think he’s dreamy… Funny and self-deprecating. Bret Michaels, though? Funny looking and self-defecating.
June 19th, 2008 at 2:04 amOh Mateo you little Mynx!
June 19th, 2008 at 3:48 amIt’s the Broadway thing that hooked you, isn’t it? I can forgive you your Mario fantasys as long as you never come between me and my Javier!
Mario Lopez is a total douche. It looks like he DOES stuff his drawers. Either way he is a skeezy whore. What the hell is he even famous for in the last like 10 years.
Gerard Butler should totally be on the list but the rest are a bunch of D-list douches.
June 19th, 2008 at 6:22 amMario just annoys me now. He’s gone over the top. Yes, for Gerard Butler.
June 19th, 2008 at 1:17 pm