Leave a Reply
My Great-Grandma Fought used to say “bad things come in threes,” which must be why I’m compelled to write a third successive, silly story about an overly-bleached blonde.
Of course, Great-Grandma Fought also thought she had a grape stuck in her throat for about 10 years, so I suppose we should take what she says with a grain of salt…
Behold the latest blasphemediawhore (for those who are not well-versed in Candy’s words of the day, read the definition here): Heidi Montag, who blasphemies Olivia Newton-John’s iconic “Physical” video in her latest abomination, the video for her new electronically-produced pile o’ crap, “Overdosin‘.”
Even the dude in the neon Chucks is embarrassed to show his face.
Just as Olivia inspired Heidi, Heidi has inspired me to re-work the “Physical” lyrics for her:
I’m in all the tabloids which I know you don’t like
Don’t know how to make real conversation
I gotta handle Us Weekly just right
Tell ‘em Lauren Conrad is mean
I took Spencer to a Hollywood restaurant
Then anywhere with paparazzi
There’s nothing for us to talk about
Unless it’s in front of photogs at the Ivy…
Let’s make y’all physical… physically sick.
I wanna make y’all physicaaaaal….
Let’s make y’all physically sick of me
Let me hear your stomach turn, your stomach turn
Let me hear your stomach turn…
[Via eonline.com and Dlisted]
Um…technically Candy,
August 25th, 2008 at 9:22 amIt appears you have FOUR Blashphemediawhores in a row.
Have mercy, Candy! Not another Montag note…
August 25th, 2008 at 9:32 amAnd what’s whith the crotch of her tights peeking from under the leotard? Couldn’t she get a crotch-less pair or what?
I can’t deal with all these Snatch shots. Is Hollywood headed for a string of shiny-gyno documentaries?
August 25th, 2008 at 10:08 amMy eyes! I’m blinded!
I know it’s the reinforced crotch of her tights that we are seeing, but it looks like a MAXI PAD with WINGS!
August 25th, 2008 at 12:21 pmmidevil and HarrietH: you made me laugh until I snorted (not a lovely sound).
August 25th, 2008 at 3:35 pmI took a break from the internets for ONE DAY, returning to work and the web refreshed and relaxed–only to see a pantyliner through white tights.
ACK!
August 25th, 2008 at 5:36 pmhee hee what a silly tart, she looks like ‘dumb’ personified.
August 25th, 2008 at 9:51 pm