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Let’s face it: The celebrity blogosphere is not particularly kind to women.
Women are not allowed to sleep around. (*AHEM* Sienna Miller and Kate Hudson) They are not allowed to date younger men. (*AHEM* Demi Moore and Jennifer Aniston) They are certainly not allowed to age, or else we’ll note that they’ve been “ridden hard and put away wet.” (*AHEM* Pamela Anderson and Madonna) And, although they’re not allowed to age, they ALSO are not allowed to try to stop the aging process with a li’l nip and tuck. (*AHEM* Nicole Kidman and Meg Ryan)
*AHEM* Sorry — I seem to have something stuck in my throat. And, for once, it’s not the cork from my wine. (I’m classy like that. *AHEM*)
So I thought it might be nice for a change to celebrate over-30 female celebrities who have aged like a fine wine. Some who radiate increasing beauty on the outside, some on the inside — and some lucky bitches who just get better and better in every way.
Here are CandyKirby.com’s top 10 women who only seem to, in some way, get better with age. Feel free to dispute my wine-fueled selections and add your own suggestions in the comment section. As you always do.
10. Salma Hayek
A beautiful baby girl. An Oscar nomination. A growing crusade against domestic violence. And, most importantly, growing ta-tas. At 41 years old, it seems Salma is just getting started.
9. Kate Winslet
A fresh-faced Kate made us all cry — okay, made ME cry (shut up!) — in 1997’s Titanic, but it’s the confident 32-year-old Kate of today that makes us — okay, ME — go day-um!
Ah man, that scene with the elderly couple holding hands on the sinking ship STILL makes me cry. (Shut up! It’s my, um, allergies. Yeah, that’s it…)
8. Halle Berry
Speaking of fine wines… Halle needs to bottle whatever she’s doing to age like this, because she’ll become a billionaire. In the meantime, I guess Halle will have to settle for being a mere gorgeous 40-year-old millionaire with a gorgeous baby girl and gorgeous model baby daddy.
My heart goes out to her. Really.
7. Susan Sarandon
Sixty-one years old? I’ll have what she’s having, please.
6. Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie
The only time we see these two ladies in the same story is when they’re pitted against each other: Angelina is a homewrecker! Jen is a pathetic loser who cries over Brad every night! So, for once, I thought it would be refreshing — if not nearly as juicy — to pair them in a collective piece celebrating their enduring beauty.
At 39, Jen rocks a string bikini better than most women half her age. And has earned enough money to buy my life. Meanwhile, 33-year-old Angelina truly does glow since expanding her brood and embarking on her humanitarian work. And, yes, could buy my life.
Okay, enough of the feel-good nonsense. The Jen vs. Angelina War may officially recommence now. *CANDY SLIPS ON PROTECTIVE GEAR*
5. Marge Simpson
The sexy bitch never ages.
4. Drew Barrymore
Drug habit by 9. Rehab by 13. Super-successful producing and acting credits, and CoverGirl contract, at 33. Wow. And I thought I was impressive for triumphing over my “C” in junior high gym class…
3. Heidi Klum and Christie Brinkley
Yeah, yeah, I know — they’re models. They’re SUPPOSED to look good.
But really, Heidi has gained a few curves from carrying her kids, not to mention respect and a post-modeling career with the success of Project Runway, which have made the 35-year-old more beautiful than ever.
And 54-year-old Christie… has clearly sold her soul to the devil — who, coincidentally, has also been busy bartering with Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton in exchange for their careers.
2. Gwyneth Paltrow
Of course, it doesn’t hurt that she’s blessed with Blythe Danner’s genes.
1. Dame Helen Mirren
Sixty. Three. Freakin’. Years. Old.
They claim a picture says a thousand words, but that now-famous bikini picture says only two: “Hot damn!”
If Helen Mirren WASN’T on this list, I’d never speak to you again.
ILU!!!
(I’d be lucky if I could look half as good as Dame Helen by the time I hit her age.)
August 27th, 2008 at 1:21 amI concur! Except Brinkley who’s had a facelift.
My list would include Penelope Cruz, Cate Blanchette and Heather Mills.
Yeah, I had you then, hee hee
August 27th, 2008 at 5:42 amHalle Berry and Drew Barrymore tied for first place!
Yeah, Cate Blanchette, definitely!
August 27th, 2008 at 6:42 amCloris Leachman, Betty White, Mary Tyler Moore, Vern, Ryan Seacrest, Carol Burnett, Liz, Sophia Loren, my Mom, did I mention Sophia Loren? Ann-Margaret, Chita Rivera, Eartha Kitt, and Julie Newmar. I went over ten. And I didn’t even include the woman who originally made aging cool, RIP: Kitty Carlisle Hart. Dammit. Sorry Mom, Ryan and Vern. Off the list. You’re all too young anyway…
August 27th, 2008 at 7:34 amGood list but i don’t know if ‘aging’ to 33 counts. i could do w/o angie but i like drew, so i guess it’s okay.
August 27th, 2008 at 8:07 amSophia Loren should be on the 1st place with Helen Mirren. Sophia is 74 and still a babe!
August 27th, 2008 at 10:04 am*blushing*
August 27th, 2008 at 10:36 amGosh, thanks Mateo!
*blink* *blink*
And thanks for adding my favs-especially Eartha Kitt-Meow!
Kitty Carlisle Hart was a pistol! There was a great article about her in Vanity Fair a while back. I bet your mom is a pistol too!
http://www.fest21.com/files/images/Sophia%20Loren.jpg
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1114872576/nm0000047
August 27th, 2008 at 10:39 amAnd yes my mommy too.
Stockard Channing — have you seen the woman!? She’s 64 and looks better than I do, did or ever will. Also Allison Janney. Other than Helen Mirren, there is no better definition for aging gracefully.
August 27th, 2008 at 10:47 amI think Shakira should be included..she looks better now than 10-15 years ago!
August 27th, 2008 at 11:44 amSome stars get better with age meaning that, thank goodness, they just disappear into oblivion.
August 27th, 2008 at 2:30 pmGreat list, Candy.
Even though I still think Helen’s bikini picture is Photoshopped, she’s a great looking woman.
But, yes, Sophia Loren, Eartha Kitt, Julie Newmar and, also, Diahann Caroll, should be on the list. Also Chrissie Hynde and Debbie Harry.
August 27th, 2008 at 3:35 pmDiane Lane
August 27th, 2008 at 4:47 pmI think Raquel Welch still rocks too!
August 27th, 2008 at 5:43 pmOoh Barbara Eden and Morgan Fairchild.
August 27th, 2008 at 5:44 pmPsychochick is right–where’s Sophia Loren?
August 27th, 2008 at 5:47 pmI saw Raquel Welch at a hair salon last year — GORGEOUS.
On my 13th birthday, Sophia Loren was promoting her perfume at our local mall. My aunt bought a box of her overpriced fragrance for me, just so Sophia would sign the box for us. I didn’t even really know who she was, but I thought it was cool that a big celebrity was in our small town, so I waited in line for an hour for my two seconds with the woman. When I finally got to the table, I told Sophia I liked her perfume and that it was my birthday — and she rolled her eyes, scribbled her name and didn’t say a word in response.
That is why Sophia Loren is not on my list.
August 27th, 2008 at 5:56 pmre: Sophia
What prompts people to be so mean?! You know she would have expended much less energy just to nod and smile–plus she would have made the list.
August 27th, 2008 at 6:47 pmOh I love it! Sophia-yee old Dulcinea spawned Candy who has been exacting her revenge ever since!
LK:
August 27th, 2008 at 8:01 pmYes!
Yes!
Yes!
Revenge on blowhard celebs I mean.
August 27th, 2008 at 8:02 pmGreat story Candy and what an effing biatch! I will hate her forever more in sympathy.
August 27th, 2008 at 8:29 pmThe only thing about Susan Sarandon, who is, admittedly, fabulous, is that she had a tendency to choose really, REALLY unflattering dresses with super low cut necklines that emphasise the fact that gravity is a cruel mistress.
I mean, Susan looks beautiful, but there is such a thing as choosing flattering clothes that don’t draw attention to things like a cleavage that’s drooping. A good bra and a more flattering neckline and we’d all think her boobs were still as perky as they were when she was young.
August 27th, 2008 at 11:33 pmI do look like Helen Mirren and I have had two children. It’s not hard to keep up your self esteem and physical strength all you need is a strong mind. The bonus is … long happy marriage. I am woman!
The virgin, the mother, the hag.
August 28th, 2008 at 7:14 amOh, I forgot, I’m 66 and I’m leaving for Dublin to perform in the Dublin Fringe festival … by myself … see … you CAN do anything … your parents were right.
August 28th, 2008 at 7:15 amSorry:and Gillian Anderson????
August 28th, 2008 at 8:38 amoh come aaawn!!
“gets better with age”? half of these women are under 35, of course they still look fresh and youthful, they are!! how do you know if these women are aging well, they’re still young!! i’m 20, but if i was over 30 i think this article would have made me veery depressed.. I think it would be great if more people would stand up against “age-ism”, but, sorry candy, it feels like you sorta did the opposite of that.
..And hasnt gwyneth admitted she uses snake-venom against wrinkles? that seems kind of desperate, she’s way too yong to even be thinking about that kind of thing..
August 28th, 2008 at 8:38 amonly 3 of these women are under 35 and i believe the article is not about women who look “fresh and youthful” but about women get better with age?? gywneth is 35.
great list. i would add katie couric.
August 28th, 2008 at 9:21 amgwyneth turns 36 next month. she really does look better than she did in her 20s.
i don’t like her but jennifer lopez looks great too.
August 28th, 2008 at 9:35 am