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It’s Britney 2.0, bitch!
After going 42 entire days with nary a head-shaving incident or umbrella rampage, the Britney Spears camp has determined she is well enough to appear at this Sunday’s VMAs, where she is nominated for Video of the Year, Best Pop Video, Best Female Video and Most Mortifying Performance at an Awards Show. (An accolade previously held by Jack Nicholson for communicating via his ass cheeks at the 1998 Golden Globes.) Britney is not expected to perform, but rather kick off the show in a relatively normal manner demonstrating that she is, indeed, back on her meds.
Perhaps most exciting, however, is Britney’s anticipated climb up the T&A charts following her VMAs appearance. Once in the top 10 of esteemed lists such as Maxim’s “Hot 100,” Esquire’s “Sexiest Women Alive” and FHM’s “Hottest Women Alive,” Britney has fallen to the bottom of the Hollywood T&A class in recent years following her marriage to K-Fed and descent into sheer lunacy.
“The ’sexiest women’ lists have been dominated by the Jessicas — Alba, Simpson and Biel — for the past couple years,” shares noted T&A expert Ludwig Von Breasteses. “A tough trio to crack, for sure. But once Britney shows she’s been hitting the gym and has lost that creepy British accent, she’ll be poised to make an unprecedented comeback on the T&A charts.
“At the very least, we expect her to infiltrate the top five of Illinois Game & Fishs ‘Top Catches’ list this year,” Von Breasteses adds.
Quite an honor, indeed.
Good god, that girl’s got a lot of work to do if she isn’t even on top of the Jessicas! *cringe*
September 4th, 2008 at 11:21 amthe top five of Illinois Game & Fishs ‘Top Catches’ list this year,”
too funny!
September 4th, 2008 at 11:54 amLudwig Von Breasteses-LMAO!!
September 4th, 2008 at 2:26 pm