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As legions of celebrities mindlessly hop on-board the trendy “go green” bandwagon, hugely talented reality star Kim Kardashian is bravely forging a path as a leader, not a follower, with some decidedly anti-environmental plans.
Kim told the “Yo on E!” satellite radio show Wednesday that she would like to try her hand at singing:
“I would be down, if it was something fun. I love music, so it would just have to be the right thing.”
CandyKirby.com’s music experts project that out of 500,000 CDs produced, Kim would sell an estimated 1,000 copies to obligated friends and family, leaving 499,000 of the inevitably digital, breathy-sounding CDs to pollute the environment.
CDs are nearly impossible to recycle—most municipal recycling program won’t accept them, so they are thrown in the trash and end up polluting groundwater and, in turn, contribute to a whole host of human health problems. Some of which are even worse than the brain deterioration caused by watching Keeping Up With the Kardashasfrasfakswiwafsakfj…
Oops! Dammit — I KNEW I shouldn’t have watched that episode where they signed up Khloe for online dating. That would explain why I was also walking in circles earlier today. My…brain…is…melting…
“Between Heidi Montag’s weekly release of a new CD and Paris Hilton’s embarrassing efforts, I don’t know if the environment can handle another reality star extending their 15 minutes with a ‘music career,’” sighs Hollywood garbage expert Oscar the Grouch. “I just pray Al Gore does an exposé on this before it’s too late — and Brody Jenner releases a rap CD.”
In other related news, E! apparently has a satellite radio show called “Yo! on E!” Who knew?
you could write for the onion.
September 4th, 2008 at 8:21 pmYet my dog can’t get a record deal; what the hell, people?
September 4th, 2008 at 8:34 pmTop Ten uses for Kim Kash-in-ian’s unsold CDS-
10. She could make klassy earrings.
September 5th, 2008 at 5:34 am9. She could build houses for the homeless.
8. She could send them to New Orleans so they could shore up the sea wall.
7. She could sew them into pouches and sell them as butt enhancers for everyone not as “gifted” as she is.
6. She could send them to Alaska so they could tag the wolves to make all that helicopter hunting easier.
5…..