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From Lynne’s touching memoir, Through The Storm: A Real Tale Of Fame And Family In A Tabloid World…
Break out your pen and pad, parents! Here’s how to raise your child, Spears-style:
1. Allow your child to start drinking at age 13 — no biggie, as long as you’re around to supervise the keg stands;
2. Encourage 14-year-old daughter to lose her virginity to 18-year-old football player, especially if this will make her more popular;
3. Send your 15-year-old kid to Los Angeles to record her first album, snort her first drugs — and dismiss as “typical teenage problems”;
4. Allow managers to whore out teenage daughter as a “Lolita” to compete with older performers;
5. Laugh “Oops! She did it again!” when 16-year-old daughter caught with pot and coke while boarding private plane;
6. Smile when 16-year-old starts screwing Justin Timberlake in bedroom next to yours because, hey, those crazy kids are “in love!”
It’s just that easy! Follow these Six Simple Rules for Raising Your Daughter — all for the low price of $16.49 — and you, too, can profit from your mentally unstable kid and 17-year-old mommy. Don’t delay — the gravy train express is going by fast!
Where was the dad during all this?? My dad would have kicked those boy’s asses!!
September 4th, 2008 at 2:14 pmAnother “Mother of the Year” candidate?
September 4th, 2008 at 2:52 pmIf it’s all true, girl’s got a lot of work to do to get back on track. Red neck life really destroys young girls–but the sex usually starts a lot younger–at least in my old hick town.
September 4th, 2008 at 3:39 pmi love that lynne is wearing a cross. what a spiritual mother.
September 4th, 2008 at 8:26 pmoh dear god, is that brooke hogan in my avatar?
September 4th, 2008 at 8:27 pmLooks like Lynne helped her finish off a six pack more than once.
September 4th, 2008 at 10:18 pmHow nice. Lynne gets to show her true aptitude as mother twice — initially, by letting these things happen in the first place, and second, by airing the family’s dirty laundry in the most public manner possible, for personal gain.
Aren’t they supposed to be Republicans? Do all Republicans have these kind of “family values”?
September 5th, 2008 at 4:41 amHAHAHA k8,
September 5th, 2008 at 5:22 amThat IS Brooke, looking more like the Hulk who should be up for #1 DAD with Pimpmamama Spears.
Oh the irony of Candy’s evil avatars.