She’s showing a helluva lot more than a bump.

4 Comments   

Somewhere Papa Joe is lamenting, “Damn! I should’ve posted that message on Jessica’s double-Ds years ago!”

9 Comments   

“Fantasy?  More like a nightmare… I asked for TAHITIAN pearls, dammit!”
[Photo Source]

7 Comments   

In news that’s probably gotten more coverage than Myanmar this weekend, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz tied the knot — in a ceremony officiated by the good reverend, Papa Joe — and announced their pregnancy at the Alice in Wonderland-themed reception.
Hmmmm… sounds like Pete’s already been down that hole.
Even bigger news in Tabloid Land: [...]

5 Comments   

Wow. If this hard-hitting story had appeared in other publications, here’s what I imagine the headlines would be:
Daily Mail: ASHLEE OR JESSICA: WHO’S BREAST IN SHOW?
Us Weekly: EXCLUSIVE: Papa Joe Confirms Ashlee is Pregnant… With Healthy, Bouncing Boobs!
National Enquirer: JESS JEALOUS OF ASHLEE’S GROWING CLEAVAGE! “I’m supposed to [...]

8 Comments   

Why, just the other day, I said to my cats, “You know what my breasts really need?  Besides Clooney’s lovin’?  Ashlee Simpson’s face!”
So you can imagine my glee — and my cats’ despair — upon learning Ashlee has answered my prayers and launched a collection of Wet Seal t-shirts featuring her mug as part [...]

7 Comments   

It’s that time of year — the time when family Christmas cards and annual updates are piling up in the ol’ mailbox. And, not to brag or anything, but we at Holy Candy and Gallery of the Absurd have been lucky enough to land on the Simpson family mailing list this year, so [...]

Comments