In news that even has rabbits exclaiming, “Oh no, they di-in’t,” Michelle Duggar has announced that she is pregnant — ladies, you may want to hold your vagina’s ears for this — with her 18th CHILD.
Yes, that would mean she has squired TWO baseball teams. (Thus ending my sports updates for the day.)
The fast-growing [...]

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Uh-oh. Looks like somebody needs more Metamucil in his tapioca pudding!

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Forget Thomas the Tank Engine or Green Eggs and Ham — there’s a NEW fun children’s book hitting the shelves:

My Beautiful Mommy — out on Mother’s Day — teaches kids why their mother, who apparently isn’t beautiful now, is having plastic surgery.
“The kids have questions,” author and (shocker) plastic surgeon Dr. Michael Salzhauer told Newsweek.
My [...]

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Behold the Hello Kitty tombstone, perfect for any forward-thinking first grader or crazy cat lady (hey, why are you looking at ME?):

Some epitaphs that would really make this grave marker purr:

So Much for Nine Lives
Still Getting Pussy!
Cat’s Got My Tongue
They Were Right: Curiosity Killed the Cat
Just Taking a Cat Nap

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As if becoming a teenager isn’t hard enough…

“I HAD A BAR MITZVAH AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY VIDEO.”
Warning: Beware of floating heads

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