Shame on you, America! Next time, the Daily Mail and I expect you to wear a Zac Posen cocktail dress when you grab a Wendy’s Spicy Chicken Sandwich with your friends.

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Well, his wrinkles may have “nowhere left to hide,” but he plays hide the salami with Catherine Zeta-Jones every night, so he’s doing something right.

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OMG, a 51-year-old actress has cellulite! Hold the front page!

What I want to know is, how long did it take the crack Daily Mail team to come up with “Cellulite and the city”? Very clever, Daily Mail. I tip my massive bikini bottoms to you.

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Whenever I’m having a high self-esteem day, I make sure to check out Daily Mail to remind myself that I should never accept my “unsightly” imperfections.
Thanks for that slice of humble pie, Daily Mail!

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I remember hearing horror stories in college about a sorority that would force pledges to sit on blocks of ice, buck naked, while the sisters would circle their fat with magic markers. The purpose of sharing this story…? To let Jennifer Love Hewitt know she didn’t miss anything by skipping college — she’s [...]

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“Her once gravity-defying assets had moved in a direction more befitting to a 33-year-old mother of three”…
You said it, Daily Mail, Worldwide Sponsor of Low Female Self-Esteem! Hell, most young moms are practically tripping over their boobs. It’s about freakin’ time Posh let her husband play hacky sack with those suckers. That’s [...]

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Can’t wait for their follow-up investigative report:
Posh’s extra creases — in her elbows.

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Not only do they ask that delightful question sure to launch any teenager into tears, but they actually have a video of their esteemed staff members debating it.
Stay tuned for next week’s provocative debate:
Dakota Fanning’s Pizza Face — PMS or pesky adolescent years?

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