“I wonder if I should’ve added a sparkly belt? [*CONTENTED SIGH*] …It’s good to be 11.”
[Source]

“I wonder if I should’ve added a sparkly belt? [*CONTENTED SIGH*] …It’s good to be 11.”
[Source]

LEFT: Madonna leaving the gym in London
RIGHT: Camilla de Pisa, a Renaissance prostitute, awaiting her next “job”

MADONNA: It’s your line, Justin.
JUSTIN: …
MADONNA: [UNDER BREATH] “We only got four minutes…”
JUSTIN: Um…
MADONNA: Ah, bloody hell. You look like a deer in headlights. Don’t you dare pull a Britney on me!
JUSTIN: But…
MADONNA: Is it my glutes? I know they’re as hard as [...]

MADONNA: He’s doing it again, isn’t he?
JUSTIN: Actually, I think he’s making fun of me.
MADONNA: Oh, please –
JUSTIN: He told me I look like I should be serving drinks!
MADONNA: And mopping them up with the Brillo pad on your head.
JUSTIN: Excuse you?
MADONNA: Did I say that out loud? [...]

CANDY IS ON A TWO-WEEK HIATUS AND WILL RETURN ON JULY 15.
HAPPY SUMMER!

"The best humor columnist living in her house!"
--Fabricated News Weekly
"As funny as Jane Eyre!"
--National Life & People Enquirer of the World
"What year is it again?"
--Larry King, CNN

