“I can’t believe Hilary Duff used to date you.”

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From what I hear, babies come in handy for a number of things. Accessorizing your shirt with crusted drool, for one. Ensuring you’re never too well-rested. Making politicians appear human-like in photo ops.
And, apparently…

… Melting black hearts, as seeing Nicole Richie and Joel Madden with little Harlow has done with mine. [...]

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LIONEL: Look, world! My daughter has cleavage now!
NICOLE: Dad really needs to stop talking about my breasts.
SOPHIA: I’m so happy Nicole had a baby! Now I can wear all her old clothes.
LIONEL: What a rack, huh? Am I right, or am I right?
NICOLE: [SIGHS] At least [...]

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