Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz to share raunchy lesbian scenes. In related news, millions of men overheard thanking God for answering their prayers. [Gabby Babble]
Paris Hilton recycles Simon Rex. See, she is an environmentalist! [POTP]
Naomi Watts takes a stroll with her six-month-old son, Alexander, in Santa Monica. Sources say [...]

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Yup, fame’s a bitch: “Best & Worst Bikini Bodies of the Stars.” [popbytes]
Celebrating the Year of the Rat. See? I knew Papa Joe’s time would come! [Ayyyy!]
Tyra Banks “makes a mess” in her pants at Fashion Week. Fierce! [Dlisted]
Victoria’s Secret to being a hot mama — a pregnant [...]

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All cured! Britney Spears is released from the hospital. [Celebrity Smack]
Heath Ledger’s autopsy results. Note to self: Best not to combine Xanax, Valium, Ativan, Lunesta and Restoril. [Fatback]
Gotta love Star magazine… Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are “twisted sisters” with bad breath and dirty hair! [popbytes]
Larry Birkhead and Dannielynn visit [...]

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Amy Winehouse to come to the U.S. for the Grammy Awards. Although she’ll need an extra plane for all of her baggage. [Celebrity Smack]
Sign of the apocalypse: David Bowie to work with Vanessa Hudgens. [Gabby Babble]
Eva Longoria’s guacamole recipe. Which has got to be easier to digest than her new [...]

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Sculptor Daniel Edwards creates the “The Oprah Sarcophagus.” Think I already caught that virus last month. [Celebrity Smack]
Marie Osmond getting her own talk show. Why, I haven’t heard anything that exciting since… Tony Danza got his own talk show! [POTP]
Star magazine confirms Angelina Jolie’s pregnancy and explores what “Mary-Kate Olsen is [...]

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It’s all about how the news relates to me today…
Mariah Carey’s dog has a better wardrobe than I do. [Ayyyy!]
Jennifer Garner’s dog has a more adventurous sex drive than I do. [Celebrity Smack]
Gwen Stefani will soon have two more kids than I do. [POTP]
Rihanna performs more charity work than I do. [...]

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Christine Costner and her 8-month old son Cayden. Sources say Cayden already said his first word when he looked at Kevin and asked, “Grandpa?” [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher shunning Kabbalah. Meanwhile, Tom Cruise overheard saying, “I’ll get you, my pretties!” [Celebrity Smack]
Miley Cyrus is likely breaking her dad’s [...]

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Click To Play

In case you missed it: Raise a glass to TGIF and Tom Cruise’s humility with Candy in this week’s “Gossip Gospel“! [YouTube]
Early Father’s Day gift alert: Blowjob in a Cup. [POTP]
Jennifer Garner and Violet go house hunting. Sources overheard Violet saying, “Dude, not this one! I need [...]

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