When I think of angels sent from heaven, Ann Coulter always immediately springs to mind.  The way the light bounces off her bleach-dried hair.  The way her Adam’s Apple dances when she speaks.  The way her uptight ass clenches in delight when any attention is cast her way.  There is no doubt Ann is blessed from above.

So you can imagine my delight when Ann donned her halo to appear on this morning’s “The Today Show,” where she rationally and not-at-all defensively discussed her new book, Guilty: Liberal ‘Victims’ and Their Assault on America.   She repeatedly called the president-elect “B. Hussein Obama,” which intelligently illuminated the weaknesses in Obama’s policies, in my opinion.  She also offered a scathing opinion of our next First Lady, writing this about Michelle Obama in her book:

“Her obvious imitation of Jackie O’s style - the flipped-under hair, the sleeveless A-line dresses, the short strands of fake pearls — would have been laughable if done by anyone other than a media-designated saint.”

Oh, snap!  Try living with yourself after being obliterated by THAT zinger, Michelle.  Sure, you may have beautiful daughters and go to bed with the president of the United States at night, but lucky Ann gets the WHOLE bed to herself !  No need to worry about other warm bodies wanting to be near her.  And unlike you and your stupid fake pearls, the stick up Ann’s ass is made of REAL wood!  Ha.

I think I speak for everybody when I note, Ann:  2; Michelle:  0.

“Okay, so, who are these guys again?

After 62 days of careful and painstaking hand-inspection of nearly 3 million ballots, a Minnesota board has finally certified results showing Democrat Al Franken winning the state’s U.S. Senate recount over Republican Norm Coleman.

Franken, a former “Saturday Night Live” personality, ended the recount up by 225 votes, an astonishingly thin margin in a race where more than 2.9 million votes were cast.

Republicans in the state are expected to continue contesting the election until hell freezes over or Minnesota thaws out, whichever comes first.

A budget plan by New York Gov. David Paterson that would plug budget shortfalls by slashing spending and raising taxes on a wide range of everyday goods and services is drawing criticism in New York.

In an attempt to close a frightening $15.4 billion budget gap, one of the largest in New York history, Paterson has introduced a $121 billion plan that even includes a tax on iPods.

In related news, everyone still refuses to buy a Zune.

Among the details of the lengthy federal bribery and conspiracy charges filed against Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich, a few choice “unnamed” Senate candidates stick out.  Only Candy Goes to Washington has a chart mapping the likely candidates on Blago’s short list:

From Best of Craigslist, San Francisco Bay area:

To the wingnut who stole my Obama/Biden magnet and left a note …
Date: 2008-11-20, 12:49 A.M. PST

I was really angry when I got to my car, which was minding its own business parked in the Barnes & Noble parking lot, and I saw that someone had stolen my precious Obama magnet! I waited more than 2 months for that magnet to come in the mail!!

But then as I was driving home I noticed a small white paper flapping in the breeze under my windshield wiper. I pulled over to retrieve it and it was a sloppily-scribbled, psychotic expression of your wingnut political beliefs. I do not care about your paranoid mental disorder (I quote: “Are you ready to give up your freedom? It’s COMING MORON!!”)

You stole my magnet. I want it back. I’ll give you 24 hours to put it back on my scion, which will be parked there tomorrow… or I will take the scrap of Wells Fargo bank statement you wrote your wing-note on to my friend who works for Wells Fargo. She will scan the barcode on the corner of your note and tell me who you are. And I will come steal something YOU value, perhaps your fingernail clipping collection or John McCain blow-up doll!

You have until sundown Thursday, douchbag!

Or, as Blagojevich would call it, “have a going out of business sale”:

A law enforcement official has confirmed that Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. is “Candidate No. 5” in the Blagojevich complaint.

Jackson’s office put out a brief statement, quoting him as follows:

“Since the federal investigation of the governor is ongoing, it would be inappropriate for me to comment beyond my initial statement.  However, I reject and denounce pay-to-play politics and have no involvement whatsoever in any wrongdoing. I won’t hesitate to cooperate fully and completely with the federal government’s investigation.”

Meanwhile, Jackson’s famous father says he is sorry his son is caught up as “Candidate No. 5″ in the scandal — but sure is glad he got a number that’s easy to rhyme.