Salma Hayek and French billionaire Francois-Henri Pinault have called off their engagement because:
1)  Pinault finally realized he’s too good-looking for her;
2)  Irreconcilable remote control issues:  She likes American Gladiators, while he wants to watch Gossip Girl;
3)  She got tired of him hunting “those pesky wabbits“;
4)  Well, Salma doesn’t need any more of his baby batter [...]

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Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman
2003 - 2008
Late-night host Jimmy Kimmel and comic Sarah Silverman have split, their reps confirm to Us Weekly.  The relationship was five years old at the time of passing.
The pair met during a roast for Hugh Hefner, where Sarah told the audience that Jimmy was fat and joked he had no [...]

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Emily Blunt and Michael Bublé
2005 - 2008
British actress Emily Blunt and Canadian “crooner” Michael Bublé have split.  The relationship was three years old.
Reported cause of death:  Bublé’s Overactive Penis Syndrome.
Blunt, 25, and Bublé, 32, met backstage at one of his concerts in 2005.
“It was kind of love at first sight, but for a long time I [...]

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The Relationship of George Clooney and Sarah Larson has officially passed away, well after its time. It was one year old. Cause of death: Clooney’s fatal aversion to commitment.
The Oscar-winning actor/director, 47, and professional twinkie, 29, met in Las Vegas, when Larson, a onetime Fear Factor winner, was a cocktail waitress [...]

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Shania Twain and her husband, producer Robert “Mutt” Lange, have split. Their marriage was 14 years old. Cause of relationship death: unknown.
Twain, 42, and Lange, 59, married just six months after meeting. In 2002, Twain told People that, “Our love has always been based on friendship and compatibility,” though, she [...]

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2007 - 2008
The Greatest Love Affair of the Century (right after Pam Anderson and Rick Salomon) — also known as Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo — has died, according to gossipmonger Liz Crokin. While cause of death is unknown, Tony was seen nursing his irreparably broken heart with mini-golf, Grey Goose, shots of tequila, [...]

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2004 - 2008
Candy’s Imaginary Love Affair with Ryan Reynolds, which flourished around the time Ryan debuted his abs in Blade, has passed away in the greedy engagement-ring clad hands of Scarlett Johansson.
The Nanny Diaries star is expected to — *gag* — show off her sparkler at tonight’s Metropolitan Museum Costume Institute Gala in NY. Sources [...]

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