I’ve generally tried to avoid any coverage of Heath Ledger since his death, mostly because:  1)  I’m a gossip humorist, and there’s clearly nothing funny about that situation; and 2)  Even “tributes” to him somehow reek of exploitation.  All the hype surrounding his Batman performance makes me uncomfortable, too, because at this point it’s impossible [...]

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Make a teapot, I always say!

Apparently, John Lowndes agrees with me, because he immortalized his deceased father by having his ashes mixed with clay to make a teapot.
Here sits my father, short and stout…
In what is actually kind of a touching gesture,  John, um, brewed up the idea of the teapot because he discovered that [...]

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If the Hello Kitty tombstone is a bit too girly for you, then you may want to consider THIS way to enter the after-life…

Behold the Pabst Blue Ribbon can casket, which 67-year-old Bill Bramanti had custom made for his, um, underground party.
The Chicago man is already getting some use out of it, having thrown a [...]

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These kids do! And likely will till they’re, oh, 30 or so.

Although most women stop breastfeeding their children after six months or so, 45-year-old Stella Onions (yes, Onions — what about it?) has decided to be an overachiever and continue to nurse both of her children, who are three and FIVE years old.
And what [...]

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Showdown at the gym:
The altercation occurred at an Equinox fitness club on the Upper East Side in August. Mr. Sugarman, a 49-year-old senior partner at an investment firm, was yelling things like “You go, girl!” and “Good burn!” in spin class, and Mr. Carter could not take it anymore. He twice asked the instructors to [...]

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A Denver man hopes to further fuel the debate about alien life with this footage of “a shadowy creature” peeping over a windowsill in Nebraska:

However, according to CandyKirby.com’s extraterrestrial experts, it appears that James Carville is merely enjoying some downtime before the Democratic National Convention.

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The roadside wolf-whistle: It’s hardly an uncommon phenomenon for women who dare to walk by construction sites, pick-up trucks or old folks’ homes during Happy Hour. (Hey, Gramps has needs, too.) And we all handle the blatant leering in different ways. I’m fond of the “Looking Anywhere But at the Whistlers” [...]

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Let’s face it. We’ve all felt like calling the police on an animal at one time or another.
For me, there was the pet hermit crab, Igor, that took a particular liking to the palm of my hand. Ouch. And my friend’s chihuahua with the Napoleon Complex that COMPLETELY mauled my right ankle [...]

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